My thoughts and emotions have been all over the place lately. I am not even sure why. I seem to be struggling to find some balance or some order in my life, some peace. I have been reading scriptures and church magazines like a dehydrated athlete. I eagerly read through the pages and verses, hoping something will assuage my emptiness or speak to me.
I was reading in the Book of Mormon, Mormon chapter 5 verse 2, "...but did struggle for their lives without calling upon that Being who created them." and verse 17, "They were once a delightsome people, and they had Christ for their shepherd; yea, they were led even by God the Father." In Chapter 6 verse 17, "...O ye fair ones, how could ye have rejected that Jesus who stood with open arms to receive you!" These verses reminded me that I need to remember to ask my Father in Heaven for help. Our Savior is there with his arms open. He wants to help us. It's only our own fault if we do not choose to call upon Him. To allow Him to take our burdens off our backs and ask for His help.
I also read an article in the current Ensign yesterday that really spoke to me. The article was actually about dealing with your parents' breakup (which doesn't really apply to me) but I found it interesting anyway. It all applies to us somehow, doesn't it? One heading was "Healing Through the Atonement".
The quote I liked was by Bishop H. Burke Peterson, "No one can be classed as a true follower of the Savior who is not in the process of removing from his heart and mind every feeling of ill will, bitterness, hatred, envy or jealousy toward another." It is impossible for us to feel the complete peace the Savior offers His followers unless we are willing to let go of anger and other negative feelings and seek the healing that can be found through His atonement.
I thought that was such a powerful statement. As I read this I realized that some of the discontent I have been feeling lately is related to some negative feelings I am having. I need to let go of those feelings and try harder to be Christlike. It brought to my mind the quote by CS Lewis, "Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive". Also the scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 64:10 that says, "I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive but of you it is required to forgive all men." I know that I am not perfect and I can't expect others to be either. I need to stop harboring these feelings I have and move on, get past it. Forgive. Let it go. Stop dwelling on the negative (my special gift). It's hard though. I wish it wasn't so hard. It takes a lot of work. Effort. Focus. I have got to choose to do it.
I really love reading the Ensign. I always find tears coming to my eyes as I read the incredible stories and experiences that other people share through this magazine. In this month's issue, there is an amazing story on page 19 about Miracles in the temple. Also, "Ten Axioms to Guide Your Life" by E. Robert D. Hales. Really good. Page 68 A Last Minute Change is great too. I am thankful that I found so much in this month's issue to quench my thirst. I really needed it.
7 comments:
You are definitely doing the right thing by diving into the scriptures, ensign, and prayer. Not that that's not totally obvious, but it certainly does help me in those moments of weakness which comes to me on a daily basis. I feel like I really have come along way and yet I still fight the negative.
I love the quote by C.S. Lewis. It certainly couldn't be more true. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It helps the fight knowing that I'm not the only one. It's yet another great reminder.
Thanks for the reminder to fill my "spiritual bucket".
I can't wait to open my Ensign now. I admire your wisdom in opening the scriptures and words of the Prophet/general authorities. Thanks for the inspiration!
I think the greatest burden for me is knowing that I haven't been willing to let go of somethings and really forgive and move forward. I know these things and still, find it hard to let go. I think about this daily - it is a heavy burden to carry. There is peace in the Atonement - there is comfort in reading the scriptures and the Ensign. But the true peace and relief come from our Savior. We just need to daily strive towards that. Thanks for the thoughts on this today!
I love the image of your going to the scriptures and Ensign like a dehydrated athlete. I hope you find the comfort and peace that you're looking for. I would also recommend reading any C.S. Lewis books. Our ward book club discussed The Great Divorce last night and it was fabulous. There's so much wisdom there and the imagery is so great that it makes it seem obvious.
Rob, thanks for sharing those thoughts. Your reference in Mor. 5 gave me great help in preparing for a 30 minute lesson I'm giving at Tom's BYU Stake Women's Conf. on April 7th. I have (get to?) teach it THREE times!
I enjoyed your thoughts on this. True healing can only come from turning to the Savior and asking him to take away our pain, our inability to forgive.
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