We took some time on Monday to travel to the cemetary where our little boy Thomas was buried. There is something about the flags in a row or maybe it was the serene setting- the dark clouds and gray skies- that made me feel so emotional from the moment I stepped out of the car.
I was glad that we now live close again so we have this opportunity to remind our children about the brother they have who is not with us. I love that they often think of him when we are talking about our family, for example, how many boys and girls we have in our family. They never forget. Often when we speak of our family being eternal- that we can live together forever- even after we die, Thomas' name comes up and we get to teach our children about our beliefs once again.
I also enjoyed the fact that Mom was with us and she could point out the other family grave sites to my kids. She told them about her Grandmother Talbot and how her middle name is Alice because of her. It makes this part of our heritage more real to them when they hear these stories and see the names.
It tugged at my heart when Austin was looking at the stones and figuring how old the people were when they died. When he got to Thomas' stone, he of course just saw the date that he was delivered, December 24, 2000. When he realized that Thomas had not lived, even one day, I saw Austin pause and think about it. He understood. I sometimes worry that he will have death issues since this was his twin brother and obviously whenever we speak of Thomas, it is connected to him. I guess we just do our best to tell him how lucky we are to have him and that one day we can meet Thomas and be with him again.
If you were remembering special members of your family this Memorial Day, I hope that you had a good experience and that you are at peace with whatever feelings of loss you may be experiencing. I know that this subject is very difficult for some, so I hope that I have not offended anyone by speaking openly about my feelings. I find it comforting and healing when I talk about it.
12 comments:
Robyn I agree that talking about things -- even things that are at times painful is healing.
I think it is wonderful that your children are aware that they are part of an eternal family , one that will be united someday.
I know that feeling of loss and love you for your strength and willingness to share such a personal experience.
Robyn, just stopping by your site via Jill's...hope you don't mind.
Your personal post about Memorial Day, and your Thomas, was beautiful. Thank you for taking the time to share such personal thoughts and pictures.
Knowing that we will someday be reunited with loved ones is heart warming and joyful isn't it!!
What beautiful photos to go along with your sentiments. What a blessing eternal families are!
There simply aren't enough words...you are so sweet. It is better to talk about these things, especially with our innocent, yet greatly perceptive, children. It will be a wonderful day when we can hold these little ones we have not yet met and meet again with those we love and miss so dearly
Wow, you're such an amazing woman and now I admire you even more for sharing such personal feelings!
How worderful, that you talk to your kids about it and that they include Thomas so you can teach them often about Eternal Families.
I'm glad you were able to have such a nice peaceful Memorial Day. I love those moments when you can see your children contemplating and understanding gospel truths--thanks for sharing your feelings.
I didn't know about Thomas. I'm so sorry. It's sweet to read of the love you have for him and the love your kids have for him.
That was such a nice post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts -- even though they made me cry. I love your family!
oh what a sweet post...and what a wonderful experience to be there as a family, especially after being away in AU for soo long. I think the most important part of it all, is that you enphazise that you are an eternal family. That is just soo important. I think you are so strong and find fortitude in the gospel, and of course you have a wonderful family and children.
I'm glad you chose to talk about this. I had no idea you had an experience like this. It's probably really good for you and your children to be able to visit the cemetary and open up those kinds of conversations.
Growing up we always spent memorial day at the cemetery with thoughts of those family members we never got to know in this lifetime. Those are very special memories for me now.
That is so touching. I dont even know your family but it makes me very sad. The same thing happned to my twins. one was stilborn and one had a stroke inside of me. It really hurts,
Thanks for sharing this post. I love the picture with all the flags at the cemetery. It sounds like it was such a special day. How wonderful the knowledge is to know that families are forever!!!
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