The Tongue of Angels

I like this talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Tongue of Angels taken from the most recent General Conference. It has so many great quotes and ideas- I just have to share. (in case you wonder why I used photos from our family bowling day, it's because this talk reminds me of the type of relationship/communication I want us to have in our family)

The title of the talk is based on a scripture in 2 Nephi chapter 32 "Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore they speak the words of Christ". He says that the purpose of his talk is to caution us (if caution is needed) regarding how we speak to each other and how we speak of ourselves.

"The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones."



So many of us use words that are so harsh, bitter, and hurtful. We often underestimate the way they affect the individual they are directed at. Sometimes we even justify our words by saying that the other person (who is hurt) is just "overly sensitive". However, I would like to argue that if we are using kind words and attempting to show love (even when we are upset with someone) our words won't be misunderstood or taken in the wrong way.

He shares a long passage of scripture from James, "For in many things we offend all. But if any man offend NOT in word, the same is a perfect man." He goes on "...the tongue is a little member (of the body) but behold how great a forest a little fire can burn. So is the tongue a fire among our members... it defileth the whole body" Elder Holland says, "that is pretty straightforward!" and it is. It's strong language describing the power of the words we use. This talk really hit me hard and it made me think about they way I speak around my house. I know that I let my moods dictate the words that come out of my mouth, and it shouldn't be that way.

He then goes into the realm of marriage- he says that husbands especially need to beware. He says to think of the kind things you said to your wife before you were married then think about other (not so nice) moments characterized by cold, caustic words.

"Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man."
Matthew 15:11

He says, "A husband who would never dream of striking his wife physically can break, if not her bones, her heart by the brutality of thoughtless or unkind speech." What a powerful statement. Next, he also calls the women forward saying, "How is it that such a lovely voice which by divine nature is so angelic... could ever in turn be so shrill, so biting, so acrid and untamed?" "...a woman's words can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant than anyone in the beginning of that exchange could ever have imagined. There is no place in that magnificent spirit of yours for acerbic or abrasive expression of any kind, including gossip or backbiting or catty remarks."

It makes me grateful to be a member of a church that teaches these principles. We don't just read out of the scriptures, then close it up and never look again until next Sunday. These are principles to apply in our every day lives. All of us experience frustration with others, feel hurt, get offended, have the opportunity to gossip about others, or say something rude about someone we dislike, etc. I can think of a few instances in my own life this week that fall into these categories... but what did I choose to do about it? What do you do when someone hurts you? Do you call everyone you know and tell them about it? Do you spread gossip and criticize them?



Elder Holland then talks about children. He says, "We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don't say is so very important in shaping a child's view of him or herself." (I take this VERY VERY seriously! I feel such a huge responsibility in developing my kids' self-confidence and self-worth... scary!!!) He says, "Never tell them, even in a whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely... they may struggle for years to forget- and to forgive."



Lastly, he says we even need to watch how we think and 'speak' to ourselves. "We see our own faults, we speak- or at least think- critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. Speak hopefully, speak encouragingly, including about yourself. Try not to complain and moan incessantly."

"The spirit of the gospel is optimistic; it trusts in God and looks on the bright side of things."

Ephesians 4:29-32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you"

"So brothers and sisters, in this long eternal quest to be like our Savior, may we try to be perfect men and women in at least this one way now- by offending not in word, or more positively put, by speaking with a tongue of angels. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today."

I hope that you enjoy this talk as much as I did. It was one of those that I guess I needed to hear because it really spoke to me. I might print up a few of the quotes and put them where I can see them more often- I need reminders!