I know, I know. I am like a roller coaster with this thing. Lately I am just overwhelmed with the whole motherhood thing. Why does it have to be so hard sometimes? My sweet little Olivia about killed Lori and I at the grocery store yesterday. She didn't stop whining the whole time we were there. Seriously, is she just bored? What does she get out of it? I don't understand. We ignored her as best we could but she does make it difficult. You just want to strangle her sometimes. Then my adorable Austin decided he was going to be as annoying as possible by hitting and poking her. This did not help the situation. Luckily, once again, precious Ashley was happy and content in the Bjorn. I don't know what I would do if she was crazy too. Why do I have such a lack of patience? When I get all stressed about it I think to myself, "There are millions of mothers doing this every day. Kids can be annoying. Kids whine. They are difficult. Why can't yo do it? Why are you any different?" I guess this is just something I am struggling with the past few months. I am trying to get through it. I am trying to learn patience. I find myself thinking, "Well can't they make it easier?" Then I realize that I wouldn't be learning patience if they weren't difficult, would I? I recognize that this is just one of the many things we learn through motherhood. It sure does challenge you, doesn't it? I know that life can't be easy b/c otherwise we would never develop the traits and characteristics we need to... yet I somehow wish I didn't have to go through it. I found myself thinking the other day, "Can't I just opt out of this part?" Yes, I want to improve myself and be perfected but can it just be a little smoother? I am taking one day at a time. I wish I didn't feel like the only one going through it though. I know many are going through it but I mean I feel like the only one failing at it. Everyone else seems to hold it together, even with much more on their plate.
Thankfully Lori is here and that is helping me a lot. Just having her here is wonderful but she is also helping out in so many other ways. It's amazing to come into the kitchen to find that the dishes are done or the dishwasher is unloaded. She is playing with the kids too which really helps to alleviate pressure on me to be constantly playing, entertaining, cleaning, feeding, etc. I think that is part of the problem with Jared traveling- it's that I feel like I am doing all of this alone and that makes it rough. Doing the whole mom thing, as hard as it is, is easier when you know your husband is coming home in the evening to talk to, to help out, to support you. So it's really difficult for me when he is out of town for a week or 10 days, to know that he won't be there.
Carry on, carry on, carry on. How does that song go?
7 comments:
Rob, I know it's so very hard right now. It will get better as you take that one day at a time. I just can't believe how beautiful all three of your babies are! And so healthy and perfect....well, except for the whining, I guess. No, I think Olivia whines perferctly too, right? I miss you all.
I hope it doesn't seem annoying for me to say this - but I feel like I could have written this post (if only I was as good at expressing what is in my head). I relate so much. Sometimes I just have to clench my hands and step away and take a deep breath b/c of all the whining and screaming of my 3 year old. Many times I wonder why I lack the level of organization, patience, creativity, interest, etc that is required to mother my kids well. Sometimes something as simple as a child not settling down for bed easily can make me think, I can't handle this. I don't like this. I too find myself thinking, can't this be a little smoother, easier? Have all women really done this before?? And it sure helps to remember that many a woman is doing this along with us. That does help me. I am also so grateful to have my husband home at night, just for the feeling of not being alone. I too found myself thinking of a hymn tonight to get through my frustrations. Mine was "Be thou humble in thy weakness...and the Lord thy God shall bless thee...."
that was me on the last comment. Lori was signed in
The pictures of the kids are seriously cute, that's got to help a little bit.
I don't know what to tell you other than that my personal motto is "whiny kids take naps." That usually quells any whining from Whitney. Olivia seems to be much more than a handful though, so maybe you need to approach her differently. Maybe she needs more one-on-one time. What's her love language? Maybe she needs to go to kindy more than once a week? I don't know, but I feel for you.
Have you tried the marble system for rewards and discipline? That works like a charm in our house.
I agree. No one else seems phased by the mom thing as you said. Except for when I ask people point blank. Then (the moms with kids my kids' age) admit that they have the same challenges and that they too feel like screaming and crying or going ballistic at times too. And we must not be alone or Sis Hinckley would not have made her statement about not wishing away the young child years. If you want to read it, it's on my April 11th post.
Anyway, it helps me too knowing you have similar experiences and feelings as I do.
First of all the photos are adorable. Seriously miss your kids and their parents of course.
You are definitely not alone in these thoughts. I get frustrated too often and wonder what I was thinking. I am not good at this. Who allowed me to take on this kind of responsibility? And then I remember I did. I wanted this so bad. I wanted to be a mother more than anything else in this world. I may not be very good, but I am determined to enjoy it. I am determined to figure out what it all means and what I am meant to learn. I just pray, pray daily, that I am giving something to my children of worth. I hope I am being a good example/teacher and fear too often that I may not be. I suppose all you can do is your best.
3 year olds are difficult. Really all kids difficult at times in their own way. You should read "Parenting with Love and Logic". It has really help both adam and I with hard situations with the girls. It has made a huge differnce in our home.
Robyn, you are definitely not alone! I have difficult kids, and they have really taught me a lot about patience. When I read Jill's advice in her comment I had to laugh. The things that she does with her kids would just never work with mine. That's another difficult thing about motherhood -- everyone's kids are different. Even your own kids are all different. How can you ever stay on top of it all?
The first two years I was a mother I thought I would seriously go insane. One thing that is easier for me is that my kids are spaced apart (it's good and it's bad). 3 year olds are difficult (I think much harder than age 2).
It will get easier though. The kids will get older and you can reason with them more. You will develop more patience with time. You just can't help it, once you deal with this stuff for years on end, it just comes to you. Hang in there!
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