Charity

Since it's Fast Sunday, I got to speak for a few minutes today (for the first time since I was called) in RS about the VT message for the month. I was really nervous. Like I have told you, I feel like the sisters in this ward are pretty hard-hearted about this whole thing and I was feeling a lot of pressure to help them feel the Spirit.

I prayed and fasted that I would be able to say what I needed to say. Now, obviously when considering what I am going to say I have to think about the viewpoint of all these women, right? I wanted to inspire them but not offend them. This is where I feel like I can go wrong. It really doesn't matter what they think, right? I should be listening to the spirit and saying whatever needs to be said, even if it offends a few... Sometimes people who aren't doing what they're supposed to do ARE going to be offended, but it might just be something they need to hear. Well I have a hard time with this b/c I am kind of a people pleaser and want everyone to like me. I don't want to offend. Yet, I want to follow the spirit. See the problem?

The topic this month is on charity, which I think is so appropriate when the stats are low. I can't remember where I got this quote since I have been cross-referencing things and linking from one talk to the next.... but I love it.

"In exercising charity, we come to know a sister’s heart. When we know a sister’s heart, we are different. We won’t judge her. We will simply love her. I invite you to not only love each other more but love each other better. As we do this we will come to know with a surety that “charity never faileth.”

I will have to figure out where that came from, but I know I found it after reading Elder Marvin J. Ashton's talk, "The Tongue Can Be A Sharp Sword". (Click Here to read it in its entirety. It's an excellent talk.) This quote is in this month's VT message:

“Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.”

What an amazing concept. It goes right along with Virginia Pearce's "Open Your Heart" Experiment, don't you think? It's all about seeing one another as real people, as human. I love the way he phrases it. That we must CHOOSE not to take advantage of another's weakness or to have patience when someone has let us down. It's like he is saying, "Yes, these things are going to happen. There are times when we CAN get mad or offended and we might even be justified in doing so... but we have to choose to exercise charity and NOT react in a way that is un-Christlike." We have to overcome that temptation and just let it go. Be wiling to forgive, be willing to overlook it. Well, that is how I interpreted it anyway...

I think that once we do this, it's so much easier to serve one another and serve with others. I have had a bad attitude about serving with my RS president b/c she has such a strong personality and it's easy to feel irritated by it, if one chooses... Well, I have just let myself blow it off. It's not important. I am not a control freak so why should I be bothered? In fact, her Type A personality is probably what makes her a good RS president. I certainly don't want the job! I have also had to resist the temptation to gossip about it b/c there are other people in the ward who talk about her and even though I agree with some of what they are saying, I know that I should sustain her as my leader and support her in her calling. I am trying to "expect the best".

Which reminds me of another quote I found, "We also lose sight of that good part when we compare ourselves to others. Her hair is cuter, my legs are fatter, her children are more talented, or her garden’s more productive—sisters, you know the drill. We just can’t do that. We cannot allow ourselves to feel inadequate by focusing on who we aren’t instead of on who we are! We are all sisters in Relief Society. We simply cannot criticize, gossip, or judge and keep the pure love of Christ." (I think this was E.Eyring. Sorry, I will be better about noting the sources in the future.) But isn't that great? We are women, don't we ALL do this? I know I do. I am always feeling inadequate compared to other people. I think things like... She can sing, her kids are so quiet at church, she probably has great FHE's every Monday night, she always looks perfect, blah blah. Then, I allow myself not to be nice to that person, just because I am insecure and comparing myself.

Ok, I guess I could go on and on about this subject. So, back to the Relief Society... I talked for a few minutes sharing the quote about "when we know a sister's heart we will love her...". I don't even remember all of what I said but I was of course crying, and just stressed how we need to make it a priority and show the sisters we visit that they are important and that we care enough to make time to see them, etc. Then I showed them my poster (didn't get to do it last week) and said that last month we were 50% (35 visits) and this month only 35% (24 visits). So sad. I hope that they felt some motivation to do their VT this month. It was hard to still see some sisters chatting away and totally ignoring me but hopefully a few of them were inspired and felt something. I can only try, right?