Well I am feeling a lot better than I was last week. All of the changes going on and stress of being alone with three kids while Jared was away... it all hit me. I had a couple of breakdowns but am feeling a lot better this week. It's crazy that one can feel so emotional and so overwhelmed at one point, and just days later I am thinking, "Why was I so upset anyway?" I guess that's called HORMONES??? I don't know. I really had to pray for patience and love for the kids and to not take out my stress on them.
Just as things are getting better, a couple from my ward came to visit on Wednesday night. They are very nice- he is an old friend of Jared's. They brought some GREAT Thai food and hung out a while. Mala, the wife, asked me if I had heard about the announcement they made on Sunday. I said "What announcement?" Well, it turns out that the RS President announced that I was feeling lonely and homesick (HELLO! What?!) and that she wanted to encourage people to call me or visit. Yes, this was in front of the whole Relief Society. What is that about? So, it turns out that my mother in law (well meaning, I know) called the RS President to tell her that both she and Jared would be out of town this week and she didn't want me being left alone or whatever. Also, she 'chastised' them for not visiting me since I had the baby and that no one had brought me any dinners. I was SOOOO embarassed. I can't believe that the RS Pres. said this in front of everyone. Last night I went to Enrichment and all I could think of was what all the people were thinking. Like, were they looking for signs of depression? Almost everyone I talked to said, "So how are you doing? Are you feeling homesick?" My goodness. I talked to the RS President and said, half joking (but not really) that I expect her to make another announcment this Sunday telling everyone that I am fine.
Ashley is doing pretty well. I can't believe that she is almost a month old. She has been a good sleeper so far and I am usually just up once during the night- about 2 or 3. However, the past few days she has started to do that thing where she only wants to fall asleep while nursing or being held. Not cool. She hardly slept all day yesterday b/c she went through the cycle where she would nurse, fall asleep, I lay her down, she cries, REPEAT cycle. I know enough not to encourage this but when you want a baby to sleep you lose your willpower! Any suggestions? She is so little I hate to hear her crying and she really gets worked up. I need the Baby Whisperer.
In other news, Jared has been very supportive and helpful during all of this chaos. He was talking me into having a massage the other day and is taking me out to a nice dinner at the Sheraton Hotel tomorrow. He has also been talking about how we need to get away and have a little vacation or weekend up the coast. Who is this guy?
Olivia started preschool yesterday and did GREAT (just as I expected). As I was dropping her off and getting her things organized, she said "Mom, I want you to go." Ok, I didn't expect tears but asking me to leave? I was worried about her using the toilet since we're only about 3 weeks into it, but her teachers said she did great. I think the fact that they have little toilets and sinks, that she can reach, is a motivating factor. I dropped her off at 9am and picked her up at 4pm (after Austin's swim lesson- it was so nice not to have her running around at the pool). The place only does full days, you can't do half day. I was worried it would be too long for her, but no, she was happy and excited when we got her. It's just one day a week. This morning she got her Care Bear backpack and lunch box and said, "Mom, do I have school today?" She was very disappointed when I had to explain that she didn't. She's so independent.
My third bit of good news (like Amy, I am trying to look for positive things these days) is that I am going to join the gym tomorrow. I know some of you may thing it odd that I am addicted to exercise, but I think it's the stress release and also the endorphins that keep me happy. My day just doesn't feel complete if I haven't sweat my brains out for about an hour. It is my therapy. Unfortunately, it costs about $80/month here, but I figure all that money the government gives us for having a baby and for 'family assistance' every 2 weeks (everyone gets it, it's just a matter of how much) should go for something useful. It will feel so good to get back into it, I can't wait.
4 comments:
Thanks for the update Robon, I've been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing with Jared being out of town. It sounds like your hormones are doing a number on you, as would being home with 3 kids with no relief from Jared--I wish I could be there to help you or come take the kids for a sleepover or something.
As for the RS announcement, you must admit it's a little funny. How sweet of Diane to step in and take charge like that. I know it's embarrassing, but from my perspective way over in America I'm thinking that it's a good idea to have people looking in on you, bringing you Thai food, and just being more thoughtful about you being in a foreign country without family or friends. It's okay if you're feeling homesick, alone, sad, and wishing for help. That's what Relief Society is for and maybe the sisters in your ward weren't aware of the situation. I hope you find some good friends soon, and that Diane comes home from her cruise and takes Austin and Olivia for a bit. I'm glad you're going out with Jared tomorrow and that he's encouraging you to get a massage. (We may not know who he is right now, but I say take full advantage of it.)
Hang in there, vent often, and let other people help you whether you're embarrassed or not. You're in the middle of one of the greatest adjustment periods ever that has been so cut yourself some slack and admit you're feelings. I love you.
Ya, Rob, please don't think you're going crazy. You're only suppossed to handle one major adjustment a year and you've just done like six all at once. Tell Jared I'm impressed that he's being understanding and attentive. Do you think Diane had a hand in that too? Maybe the ward members dropping by with food totally saved you from another breakdown. Maybe Diane's comment to the RS Pres. resulted in just what you needed. ??? We need more photos of the kids.
All I can say is, you have 3 kids. And your youngest is under a month old! Hormones can totally make you crazy, and so can having 3 kids. Hang in there.
That middle comment that looks like it's from me is really from Michelle. I was signed in at her house today and I don't think I signed out, so she's commenting around the blogs under my name. Weird.
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