Well we haven't made any decisions about our future yet. It's so hard! I think I know what I want to do, but is that the RIGHT thing? Is that the best thing? I was saying to Lori the other day... I just want to know what I will be happy with 10 years from now. What was the best decision? UGH. It's tough to make these big choices in my life. I wish I had the overall picture NOW. I wish I could see it all, from every angle, so that I could make an educated guess. Can I have the 'hindsight' now? Is that so wrong? To want that? I know, I am a bit of a mess. You are getting a glimpse of my state of mind these days.
The most annoying part, to me, is that it's becoming a big topic of gossip now among family, friends, people at church, etc. It drives me crazy to think of other people talking about it, speculating, judging. I know how people here talk about Americans (not good to begin with) but Americans who live here and then choose to leave... not a good thing. So just the fact that we are CONSIDERING leaving this place is enough to put me in the category of those other losers who have deserted and gone back to the mother country. From the Aussie point of view, they want everyone to think of it as being just as wonderful and great as they do. They believe it's the most beautiful place in the world. Granted, it probably is up there as having the best beaches, yes. But that doesn't mean it's the most perfect place to live, overall. There are other factors that go into the equation.
Another thing that bugs me about these people who sit back and judge is- who are they to judge anyway? Have they left their family, friends, homeland, everything they know and love? Have they sold everything they own and gone out on a limb to an unknown place with no friends? Had to learn all about a new place, new culture, new language (yes, it is another language). No, they are sitting back in their little comfort zone, all cozy and warm with their family surrounding them, their friends they have known their whole lives, not risking anything, not stepping out- but yet they can sit back and judge me for thinking of going back.
Sorry I am venting, in case you didn't notice.
So the indecision goes on. We are hoping to figure things out this week. Wait, I think I said that last week. Well, we're doing the best we can anyway. People keep saying (not the gossiping, judgmental ones, but the other ones) keep saying, "you'll make the right decision" or "It will all work out" and things like that. Yes, I know that is true but right now it's tough.
1 comment:
What a huge decision, Robyn! I would be a wreck too. I'm pretty sure I would be hoping to return to the U.S. Like you said, it's easy for Australian natives to criticize you for wanting to go back home, but I wonder how they would feel if they were ex-patriates in another country?? I have enjoyed living abroad, but there's no place like home.
I hope you are able to come to a decision you feel good about soon. That indecision has got to be driving you crazy!
Post a Comment