So this is what I was faced with this morning at 8:45. I drank two bottles of water before 8 am and I had just dropped Austin off at school and Jared at work when my bladder decided it was about to erupt. I was driving past the shopping mall, still 15 minutes from home, and only a gas station in sight. Ok, I thought, I can tell this is serious, I am going to have to go. So I pulled in to the gas station, got Ashley out of the car, and went to find the 'facilities' with much apprehension. Imagine my horror when a large man walked out (of the women's bathroom, I might add) with a newspaper tucked under one arm (have you no shame?) and I knew I was faced with a decision. To go or not to go?
Well my body decided for me. If I didn't go there would be a puddle below me and a large wet stain on my clothes! I did my business and got out as fast as possible. It wasn't as bad as I expected, thankfully.
Now this just seems to be a metaphor for my life right now. I am faced with a decision. A puddle and some wet clothes are pretty minor in comparison. We are trying to decide whether to stay in Australia or go back to the States. When we made the decision to come here, it was with the understanding (and the promise of my husband) that it would just be for 2 years. A trial. After that time had passed, we would discuss whether or not we wanted to stay longer and I would have the opportunity, if I wanted, to go back home to the States.
My family thinks this is an easy decision. Jared's family thinks it's an easy decision. Obviously, they don't agree on where we should end up... Jared's family thinks Australia is the best place for us and my family thinks US is the best place for us. What do we think? Not sure yet. We've been talking about it for a few weeks and decision time is coming.
What is the rush? Well Jared has already given notice at his current job. He is not enjoying it, he travels too much and gets paid too little. He told them he would train the new person and finish out the end of the year, which is when the last of his scheduled trips will be. So we are on a timeline- no more paychecks after the year's end.
I am feeling the pressure. Yesterday I was really stressing. My face is breaking out and I couldn't think clearly. It's all I could think about. I talked with Mom and Pop then Lori. It was nice to speak to them and get their views and feel their support. Today I am a little better but I did pull out my "Rescue Remedy" to help ease the stress. It really works!
Tonight Jared and I plan to have a big talk. I hope that we can figure out what is the right thing for us and for our family. It's hard to decide what will be the best in the long run. I think if I just had to stay for another year or something, I would be fine. But that's not it- this is a pivotal time and Jared is going to change jobs so it makes sense that if we want to go back, we do it now. Decisions, decisions.
5 comments:
I have really no idea what you are going through, nor just how hard this decision must be with so many factors to consider, but the Lord does. And while, unfortunately, that's not always a comfort, at the time (at least not for me), it is comforting to think that in the end, you will make the right decision, if that is what you truly want and even when both decisions are right. It's the letting go of my agenda that's always been my difficulty, but if I can do that, I am always happy in the end, because I have faith that I made the decision the Lord wanted me to make.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck!
oh my! living abroad always has challenges as well as rewards. You are lucky in a way that you went to Australia, they say that is one of the best places to live and to raise a family and then on the area where you are is one of the most beautiful ones in the world. However, you can't compensate sometimes when your husband is gone all the time and you feel something is missing, and he starts to feel like that is not the job for him. I think in the end, as cliche as it may sound prayer will always be your best determinator maybe after doing the plus and cons of the situation together with Jared. Alf just got laid off a month ago, so we are currently looking for a job...thus my long stay in Utah, but it is assuring to know that we both like California so just hoping something opens up soon. Good luck
oh I forgot, my brother Danny that lived in Austalia for 10 years was very very happy down there, he really enjoyed himself. However, they always had the intention of comming to the states for an opportunity...so they moved already 2 years ago, in this case it is a little tough for Tracey becuase they all lived 10 min away from her family, but as tough as it has been the girls are thriving and they are having a wonderful time in the States and also doing a lot better financially having a huge house and good opportunities...I asked my brother the other day if he still missed Australia and he said...yeah RUGBY! I think it might be easier for you guys, since Jared will be the one working and busy you know...and of course you always have the option of returning? One good thing is that you can compare already in some sort of way
I do not envy you in this decision that you have to make! It is such a difficult decision. It is so hard to be "fair" to both families, too. When Andy and I made our decision to move to PA, we went to the temple and prayed a lot. It is hard living away from my family, but I still know that we are supposed to be here for now. Sometimes, knowing that I recieved that answer, helps comfot me when I am homesick, etc. One thing I am grateful for is that my family is only a phone call, email, or airplane away. Thanks to technology, the world is a lot smaller.
I hope you are able to make your decision and have peace in your heart with it.
I don't really think it's an easy decision, just in regard to how miserable you've been during these 2 years of living there. We all want what's best for you guys.
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